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Archive for July, 2010

And I think to myself, “What a wonderful world!”

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I’m constantly worried about something. It has been this way as long as I can remember. I worried about things that most kids don’t even think about. A few years ago, I finally admitted these issues to a health care professional. The meds helped greatly. Fast Forward a couple of years, a surgery, a new baby, etc… Now, I can’t take what I was taking before that helped the most. The ones that seem to help minimally have side effects that I can’t abide. The one I’m taking now is just, well frankly, like taking nothing at all. I am not comfortable, it’s funny how much you change after not having this incredible anxiety for a while. You get used to feeling ‘normal’ and it’s almost painful to go back to having panic.

I don’t know if it would be this bad if it wasn’t for the situation in the Gulf of Mexico. BP and its monstrous mess has knots in my stomach and a head full of what ifs. I’m mad, frustrated, and just plain tired of the unbelievable hold that oil has on this country, dare I say the world. Boycotting is easy for me, there are no BP or affiliated stations in my area but if there were, you can bet I’d not buy it. Hurting the franchise? Perhaps a little but reports are coming in every day of these store owners switching brands. It can be done, it might not be comfortable but it is possible. Not until someone gives these monster companies a reason to be responsible, they won’t. Eventually the smallest trickle becomes a raging river if enough rain drops fall into place. Perhaps me not buying BP gas won’t hurt their profits, but a country full of gas stations taking their contracts away, that will make a difference somewhere. It has to be done. Someone has to make these companies accountable for their actions! Hearing a government official say that our president was too hard on them, essentially bullying  BP? Let’s just say I was seething. How dare they? Do they have no moral compass? What about the lives lost when this travesty happened that day in April? Who is going to stand up and say, “ENOUGH!” when it comes to safety standards? Please, this is not about your personal profits Mr. Senator. I would be willing to bet that the good sir is staunchly ProLife. Funny how that seems to only concern them until the child is actually born. Then it’s a free for all. Now the lives of countless children are threatened. Their parents are struggling to feed them, to care for them, now that their livelihood has been taken away. A delicate, already hurting eco system is going to be reeling for years. It’s a terrible tragedy and more people should take it more seriously.

We need reliable, economical, eco-responsible alternatives right now. Not ten years from now. I can’t stress it enough. Call me a tree hugger all you’d like, but I have children who will have children. I want their futures to be bright and not blighted by the greed of an industrial generation. We have made changes to our habits.  We use reusable shopping bags, we’ve switched out all of our light bulbs to lower wattage bulbs, just little things but I hope that it will make a difference. I can’t be sure of what the future holds, if the environment has suffered irreversible damage that will change our lives forever, but I hope things will turn out ok for the sake of our kids and my sanity.

TO make things worse, today is the final episode of Deadliest Catch. My beloved Phil will be making his last appearance tonight. I don’t know if I want to watch it or not, I sit here while it’s running but I’m not paying 100% attention to it. James is watching. I’m going to cry, why do we get so attached to ‘public figures’ on TV? He’s just a normal man who lived and died doing what he loved but for some reason I’m unreasonably attached to him. Here’s to you Phil, may you rest peacefully from now until eternity, adios mi amigo. To the brothers, his sons, I wish you peace.

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